I can’t imagine why anyone would walk away from a friend like you. But then again, I don’t really get why anyone ever leaves, so… *trails off; sighs* I know how you feel, though. I don’t give of myself nearly as freely as you do, but when it comes to the few people I choose to let in, it always seems like I’m the one who’s most invested. I would never just abandon someone I cared about. I’m always the one left in the dust wondering what I did or didn’t do. That’s why it’s easier to not care. Most of the time when I put in any effort, it’s too much for people. I care too much or too little, I haven’t really found a middle ground yet.
I’ve been known to do things to push people away, but I would be an idiot if I did something to lose you. As cheesy as it is, I feel like you are one of those people that comes along once in a lifetime. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again… I’ve honestly never met anyone quite like you. You’re so real, and just unabashedly YOU. You have such a unique outlook on life and I love the way you think. Not to mention the fact that you’re probably the kindest person I’ve ever met. The fact that you choose to spend your time with me kind of blows my mind, but I don’t question it too much because I think being around you makes me better. I’m rambling, but I think that was just my long-winded way of saying that I’m here for you, too, and I’m not going anywhere. *grabs Ashleah’s hand and gives it a squeeze*
It’s gotta suck even more when you give yourself away to a few people instead of everyone. When it’s everyone, you feel abandoned and rejected and get stuck with wondering what it is about you that’s so awful. You’re stuck with trying to figure out what’s wrong with you because you treat everyone awesomely; nobody gets special attention. You’re left to your own destruction. But when you actually choose the people you want to pour yourself into and they turn their backs on the fountain, you try to figure out what you did wrong to them because it’s more personal. You’ve chosen to care for them specifically, so you can pay more attention to them and how you affect their lives. You have more connection. So it hurts more when they leave. Everything’s intensified because you know more.
I only wish people saw more of you and not so much of who you pretend to be, because you’re really amazing, Damey. Anyone to have you in their life should feel honored and happy, and you’re just too important to be treated as you are. It isn’t fair, and you deserve better. You deserve the best. Just, everything about you should get its own award or something. You don’t listen to others when you know what’s right, and you don’t mind be hated as long as it means someone else’s happiness or safety. Then you’re an ass and suffer through crap so others don’t have to, and gah. XD I hate you. XD But you’re the only one who makes me happy. *tucks lips.* And I love you. And you’re my snuggle buddy, so advantage there. XD You’re perfect.